Enigmatic expo organiser Steve Blandface trumpeted his new event as the ‘fightback starts here for the FX industry’, with scores of PSP, leads companies and call centres signing up to attend.

Reporters asked him if this was an act of desperation, with his company reportedly bleeding money with no events being held in the civilised world this coming year, Blandface replied ‘No way, Wuhan is where it is at. This is like being given a VIP ticket onto Marco Polo’s silk road!.’

Previous reports have been quashed of Blandface shaking his fist and screaming at pictures of the COVID virus, allegedly calling it a ‘spiky bastard’ have strongly been denied by his PR team Tuna Fandango.

Marjoree Schweepes, the Global Head of Inspiration and Open Air Thinking of the representing PR company said ‘I very much doubt that the FX industry would survive without Steve’s events being held every month. Where else would you get to see the same salespeople over and over again!’

Mr Blandfaces previous attempt to kick start the expo industry using a puppet show to recreate the top 10 best expo panels, were seen as valiant, and possibly more interesting than the usual panel discussions.

However, disaster struck when Blandface was caught using extreme profane language on his puppets during their maiden live performance. The puppetry wires became grotesquely entwined, causing what one onlooker described as ‘the puppetry equivalent of the horror film the human centipede’.

Although watched in its tens, Bandface swore he would never use the medium of puppetry again to reenact the events of an expo, opting to use the much-undervalued artform of mime.

Hamilton Devereux

Beard enthusiast Hamilton Deveraux, is one of Frumptons leading niche coffee drinking journalists. Having crafted his career in gender-neutral politics, Hamilton brings the sword of truth to the Unreal News Network.