Unreal News Network

How a Tropical Micro-island Became Home to 780 Forex Brokers

Jasper Saint-George — Fri, 29 May 2020 10:26:58 +0000

You may have heard the hype about the recent independence of the tropical island Atlantis. The tiny island nation with an area of just 7.4km2 is located in the Caribbean Sea, just a stone’s throw from the BVI. The island with a population of just 900 people has recently established itself as an independent republic. [...]

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Forex Broker Connected to 21 LPs Faces Liquidity Issues

Jasper Saint-George — Thu, 28 May 2020 06:36:34 +0000

Wow Super Trade, the world’s largest Straight Through Processing, Electronic Communication Network, Direct Market Access, Non-Dealing Desk broker with 21+ Tier-1 bank and non-bank LPs recently found itself in hot water. Yesterday, the company was inundated with complaints about execution issues on the USDZAR pair due to there not being enough liquidity. The blame for [...]

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Broker Claims Victory Over COVID 19 by Donating 3 Boxes of Facemasks

Jasper Saint-George — Thu, 28 May 2020 05:57:42 +0000

Retail forex brokerage giant Wow Super Trade has recently announced in a quarterly Corporate Social Responsibility update that the firm has made shockwaves in the global fight against COVID-19. According to the statement, the firm has donated face masks to dozens of clients across Asia. While the initiative was noble, we found it peculiar that [...]

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Expo Owner Wins Again!

Hamilton Devereux — Wed, 27 May 2020 16:32:58 +0000

There were no surprises at the Nick Knowles Arena in Frumpton tonight, as worldwide dignitaries gathered to announce the award for ‘World’s Biggest C*nt’. The air was moist with both perspiration and anticipation, the crowd cheered as Steve Blandface did a sensational double winning both the award for ‘World’s Biggest C*nt’ and the lifetime achievement [...]

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Webcast Magically Turns into Virtual Expo

Hamilton Devereux — Wed, 27 May 2020 15:06:24 +0000

Life really did imitate art in central Frumpton earlier today, when the FX Expo worlds very own Dorothy, shouted aloud, “it is not a webcast, it is not a webcast, it is not a webcast”. Just like in the Wizard of OZ, the webcast magically turned into a virtual expo. Dorothy Mantlepiece, the head of [...]

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The COVID-19 Kilos

Hamilton Devereux — Sun, 17 May 2020 19:41:56 +0000

Casual Friday is turning into casual May, as ample-waisted workers are returning to Wow Super Trade from lockdown. Employees found that their pre-lockdown work attire no longer fitted after long lockdown lunches, leading to an obese workforce. Colin Beanbag, Head of Excel spreadsheets, said “I thought the lockdown would give me a chance to work [...]

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Businessman Launches LP from Nan’s Spare Room

Hamilton Devereux — Sun, 17 May 2020 19:14:25 +0000

Local maverick agricultural businessman Darren Hobbs has opened a revolutionary liquidity provider which has ‘relationships’ with 15 tier-one banks and several Hedge Funds. Hobbs was quoted as saying “there’s enough bizniss an ting in FX. Let Hobbsy big it up some more”. When pressed on why some considered it unconventional to operate from his Grandmother’s [...]

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Cake Calamity Leads to Termination of Sales Exec.

Hamilton Devereux — Sun, 17 May 2020 11:19:24 +0000

Legendary Sales Manager of NoNameFX Kenny Willis has been sensationally fired in his first week back at the ‘sales furnace’ of NoNameFX. Some insiders are labelling Willis’ sales career being ‘Banana-brown-bread’. Willis, who colourfully outlines his NoNameFX achievements on his Linkedin profile as ‘a ballbusting overachiever’ learnt to how to bake in lockdown. An insider [...]

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You Don’t Have to be Mad to Work Here, But it Helps!

Hamilton Devereux — Fri, 15 May 2020 11:21:00 +0000

A recent Frumpton University study found that 98% of people who want to have a career in FX have massive psychological issues. It went further and added that most behavioural analysts would label the FX workplace to be riddled with ‘psychotic career climbers’. The study asked, “would you kill your colleague for career advancement?”. The [...]

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Regulator Fines Investment Firm 465 Euro for Embezzling Millions

Jasper Saint-George — Wed, 13 May 2020 15:59:45 +0000

The financial services regulator Atlantis Independent Department of Securities (AIDS) has come to a settlement in the high profile case with investment broker Legit Invest Inc. The now insolvent broker had embezzled millions of Euros from clients funds. The firms CEO Jeffery Hansen was accused of pillaging the life savings and retirement nest eggs of [...]

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